एक था भगवान,
एक था शैतान…..
दोनों में जब झगड़ा हुआ तो,
बहुत हुआ नुकसान….
दोनों ने मिलकर,
निकाला समस्या का समाधान….
एक खिलौना बनाया,
और उसका नाम रखा इंसान….
शैतान ने अपनी ताकते दी,
क्रोध,धंमड और जलन…..
भगवान ने अपने अंश दिये,
प्यार,दया और सम्मान…
मुस्कराकर बोला शैतान,
न तेरा नुकसान,न मेरा नुकसान……
तू जीते या मैं जीतू,
हारेगा इंसान …..
और इसलिए कहते है…
तो उसे सजाना सीखो,
कोई रुठे तो उसे मनाना सीखो …
रिश्ते तो मिलते है मुकद्दर से,
बस उन्हे खूबसूरती से
जन्म लिया है
तो सिर्फ साँसे मत
जीने का शौक भी रखिये..
ऐसे लोगो की राख से…
भरा पड़ा है
जो समझते थे,,, दुनिया उनके बिना चल
हाथ में टच फ़ोन,
बस स्टेटस के लिये अच्छा है…
सबके टच में रहो,
जींदगी के लिये ज्यादा अच्छा है…
ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात
ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात “आख़री”
मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार
एक दूसरे से, ना जाने
कौनसी “मुलाक़ात” आख़री होगी..
फासले कम करो दिल मिलाते रहो..
ज़िन्दगी में सदा मुस्कुराते रहो
ऐ मेरे वतन के लोगों, तुम खूब लगा लो नारा
ये शुभ दिन है हम सब का, लहरा लो तिरंगा प्यारा
पर मत भूलो सीमा पर, वीरों ने है प्राण गंवाए
कुछ याद उन्हें भी कर लो, कुछ याद उन्हें भी कर लो
जो लौट के घर न आए, जो लौट के घर न आए…
ऐ मेरे वतन के लोगो, ज़रा आंख में भर लो पानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी
ऐ मेरे वतन के लोगों ज़रा आंख में भर लो पानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी
तुम भूल न जाओ उनको, इसलिए सुनो ये कहानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं, उनकी, जरा याद करो कुरबानी…
जब घायल हुआ हिमालय, ख़तरे में पड़ी आज़ादी
जब तक थी सांस लड़े वो… जब तक थी सांस लड़े वो, फिर अपनी लाश बिछा दी
संगीन पे धर कर माथा, सो गए अमर बलिदानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी…
जब देश में थी दीवाली, वो खेल रहे थे होली
जब हम बैठे थे घरों में… जब हम बैठे थे घरों में, वो झेल रहे थे गोली
थे धन्य जवान वो अपने, थी धन्य वो उनकी जवानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी…
कोई सिख कोई जाट मराठा, कोई सिख कोई जाट मराठा,
कोई गुरखा कोई मदरासी, कोई गुरखा कोई मदरासी
सरहद पर मरनेवाला… सरहद पर मरनेवाला, हर वीर था भारतवासी
जो खून गिरा पर्वत पर, वो खून था हिंदुस्तानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी…
थी खून से लथ – पथ काया, फिर भी बंदूक उठाके
दस – दस को एक ने मारा, फिर गिर गए होश गंवा के
जब अंत समय आया तो…. जब अंत-समय आया तो, कह गए के अब मरते हैं
खुश रहना देश के प्यारो… खुश रहना देश के प्यारो
अब हम तो सफ़र करते हैं… अब हम तो सफ़र करते हैं
क्या लोग थे वो दीवाने, क्या लोग थे वो अभिमानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं उनकी, ज़रा याद करो कुरबानी
तुम भूल न जाओ उनको, इसलिए कही ये कहानी
जो शहीद हुए हैं, उनकी जरा याद करो कुरबानी
जय हिंद, जय हिंद, जय हिंद की सेना… जय हिंद, जय हिंद, जय हिंद की सेना..
जय हिंद, जय हिंद जय हिंद, जय हिंद जय हिंद, जय हिंद…
कारगिल युध्द भारत और पाकिस्तान के बीच मई और जुलाई 1999 के बीच कश्मीर के करगिल जिले में हुए सशस्त्र संघर्ष का नाम है।
पाकिस्तान की सेना और कश्मीरी उग्रवादियों ने भारत और पाकिस्तान के बीच की नियंत्रण रेखा पार करके भारत की ज़मीन पर कब्ज़ा करने की कोशिश की। पाकिस्तान ने दावा किया कि लड़ने वाले सभी कश्मीरी उग्रवादी हैं, लेकिन युद्ध में बरामद हुए दस्तावेज़ों और पाकिस्तानी नेताओं के बयानों से साबित हुआ कि पाकिस्तान की सेना प्रत्यक्ष रूप में इस युद्ध में शामिल थी। लगभग 30,000 भारतीय सैनिक और करीब 5,000 घुसपैठिए इस युद्ध में शामिल थे। भारतीय सेना और वायुसेना ने पाकिस्तान के कब्ज़े वाली जगहों पर हमला किया और धीरे-धीरे अंतर्राष्ट्रीय सहयोग से पाकिस्तान को सीमा पार वापिस जाने को मजबूर किया। यह युद्ध ऊँचाई वाले इलाके पर हुआ और दोनों देशों की सेनाओं को लड़ने में काफ़ी मुश्किलों का सामना करना पड़ा। आणविक शस्त्र बनाने के बाद भारत और पाकिस्तान के बीच हुआ यह पहला सशस्त्र संघर्ष था।
आज बरबस हीं मुझे केदारनाथ अग्रवाल लिखित बहुत हीं प्यारी सीधी सी और निश्चल कविता याद आ रही है बड़े चाव से याद किया था स्कूल के दिनों में
हवा हूँ हवा मैं बसंती हवा हूँ सुनो बात मेरी अनोखी हवा हूँ
बड़ी बावली हूँ बड़ी मस्तमौला। नहीं कुछ फ़िकर है बड़ी ही निडर हूँ जिधर चाहती हूँ उधर घूमती हूँ मुसाफिर अजब हूँ। न घर बार मेरा न उद्देश्य मेरा न इच्छा किसी की न आशा किसी की न प्रेमी न दुश्मन जिधर चाहती हूँ उधर घूमती हूँ हवा हूँ हवा मैं बसंती हवा हूँ।
जहाँ से चली मैं जहाँ को गई मैं शहर गाँव बस्ती नदी खेत पोखर झुलाती चली मैं हवा हूँ हवा मैं बसंती हवा हूँ।
चढ़ी पेड़ महुआ थपाथप मचाया गिरी धम्म से फिर चढ़ी आम ऊपर उसे भी झकोरा किया कान में ”कू” उतर कर भगी मैं हरे खेत पहुँची वहाँ गेहुँओं में लहर खूब मारी।
पहर दो पहर क्या अनेकों पहर तक इसी में रही मैं। खड़ी देख अलसी मुझे खूब सूझी हिलाया झुलाया गिरी पर न अलसी इसी हार को पा हिलाई न सरसों झुलाई न सरसों हवा हूँ हवा मैं बसंती हवा हूँ।
मुझे देखते ही अरहरी लजाई मनाया बनाया न मानी न मानी उसे भी न छोड़ा पथिक आ रहा था उसी पर ढकेला हँसी ज़ोर से मैं हँसी सब दिशाएँ हँसे लहलहाते हरे खेत सारे हँसी चमचमाती भरी धूप प्यारी बसंती हवा में हँसी सृष्टि सारी। हवा हूँ हवा मैं बसंती हवा हूँ।
“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz
Have you ever opened a spring-loaded email? You know, the kind with a nasty barb inside that hits you like a punch in the gut?
My business partner and I had recently launched our new podcast, and he had forwarded me an email he’d received from a viewer.
“Just watched Episode One,” the writer said. “GREAT idea! But WAY too much talking. Want specifics, not Melissa’s self-indulgent blathering on about the creative process…”
Ouch. My vision blurred at this point, and the rest of the missive was lost on me. A hot flush prickled my skin from head to toe.
I recognized this feeling: it was something I’d been doing my best to avoid since early childhood. For much of my life, fear of criticism had kept me small and timid, hiding under my shell. Over the past several years, though, I’ve been stepping out of the shadows, playing bigger, putting myself and my work out in the world more boldly.
I knew it was only a matter of time before critics started lobbing nastygrams my way, and thankfully, I was prepared.
If you want to live a big, bold, creative life, one of the first orders of business is learning how to deal with criticism.
The more you step out into the spotlight, whether literally or figuratively, the more attention and feedback you’re going to get, and not all of it will be positive.
As kids on the playground, we chanted that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me,” but words can and do hurt. They have the power to destroy us if we let them.
How, then, do we armor up against criticism?
Here are five tools that will help you grow a thicker skin.
Tool #1: Separate fact from interpretation.
When I opened that nastygram from the podcast viewer, it would have been easy to interpret it as defining a core truth about me.
Instead, I reminded myself that her assessment wasn’t objective truth; it was merely her opinion. I might not like her opinion, but ultimately it has nothing to do with me, or with objective reality.
In the same way, if I launch a new workshop or offer a painting for sale, and nobody buys, it’s easy to leap to thoughts like “My work sucks. I suck.”
The fact that I didn’t make a sale doesn’t actually tell me anything about me or my work, however. All I really know is that this particular offer wasn’t compelling to this particular audience at this particular moment.
Separating fact from interpretation can help prevent you from sliding down into a rat hole of “I suck.” And it can even help you make tactical decisions going forward: if this audience didn’t buy, maybe I want to change my messaging, or maybe I want to find a new audience!
Tool #2: Find the shiny, red button.
Have you ever noticed how certain criticisms roll right off, like water off a duck’s back, but others cut you to the core, no matter what you do?
In elementary school, when the boys tried to taunt me by fiddling with my last name, Dinwiddie, and calling me “Dumb-widdie,” it was annoying, but it didn’t really hurt. Nor did it stick, because I had a core belief that I was smart. There were no fears or beliefs about myself for the insult to hook into.
On the other hand, for many years whenever someone called me selfish, it flattened me.
Somehow I got a message as a very young child that I was selfish. Then in my first marriage, whenever I wasn’t able to meet my husband’s needs, he declared that I was selfish. Even when my friends and family reflected back that I was loving and generous, those early beliefs were like a big, shiny, red button with a hair trigger, that got pushed really easily.
For years, the tiniest comment that I was acting in my own self-interest threw me into a frenzy of self-doubt and anxiety. As a result, I bent over backward for others in an attempt to prove that I wasn’t selfish.
No wonder an accusation that I was “self-indulgently blathering on” stung me so badly!
The criticism isn’t actually the problem here; it’s the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
When we can notice which criticisms wound us the most deeply, it shines a light on what our beliefs are. Not only can this help us to find neutrality again, with this outlook, criticism can actually become a valuable tool for self-growth.
Tool #3: Reframe criticism as positive fuel.
Years ago, when I was a beginning calligrapher, a master teacher invited me to show him my portfolio.
I was scared to hear his critiques, until he assured me, “I’m simply going to tell you how you can make your work better.” Suddenly, instead of being terrified of his feedback, I was hungry for it.
Alas, not all of our critics will be so gentle and well intentioned. It’s not always easy to practice neutrality, but the more we can shift our mindset to look for the lesson beneath the venom, the more even negative comments can be useful to us, and even empower and fuel us to keep going and make our work better.
Tool #4: Ignore anyone on the sidelines.
That said, sometimes feedback isn’t useful at all. TED speaker and best-selling author Brené Brown has received comments on her videos such as, “If I looked like Brené Brown, I’d embrace imperfection too.”
This kind of insult has nothing to do with the work in question. It’s designed to hurt, not to help, and it has nothing useful to offer.
If there are some cases when a criticism can be useful, and other cases when it does no good at all, how do we sift through feedback to determine what to pay attention to, and what to ignore?
Brown likens nasty, unhelpful comments to the insults screamed down from the stands at the gladiators fighting in the arena below. It’s easy to yell that someone else can’t fight their way out of a paper bag when you’re sitting safely out of harm’s way.
So ask yourself if your critics are offering opinions that are truly useful to you. Are they metaphorical gladiators, fighting alongside you in the arena? Or are they potential recipients of your work?
If your critic is neither of the above, it’s likely they’re trolls hanging around on the sidelines. Ignore them.
Tool #5: Find a thick-skinned role model.
Did you know that Dr. Seuss, whose books sold millions over his lifetime, had his first book rejected at least twenty times? Thank goodness he persisted!
It’s easy to think that being on the receiving end of criticism means something is wrong with us, but the truth is, being criticized is a hallmark of doing cutting-edge, important work! Countless people who are now known for amazing things were criticized or rejected at first.
Think of Madonna, Lady Gaga, Hilary Clinton, Gloria Steinem: whether or not you like their work or what they stand for, you have to admit that these women each touched a nerve in our culture, and have gotten a ton of criticism as a result. Yet they never gave up.
The next time someone lobs a bomb your way, think about someone you admire, who kept forging ahead, despite their critics. You might even want to post their picture, or quotes by them, by your workspace to inspire you to keep going.
Life is made up of decisions. Small ones like whether to have your coffee hot or iced. And big ones, like accepting or rejecting a new job offer. It is the decisions you make that set the course for your life. Yet, just as important as the decisions themselves is why you make them.
From a very young age most of you were taught to honor your word and to finish what you start because, nobody likes a quitter. There was fear around letting others down or hurting their feelings. So in order to honor what you were taught, when you a made decision, you stuck with it.
What do you do when you are midway down a path towards something you thought was ‘right,’ to discover, you were wrong?
Need to have a difficult conversation? Here’s how..
If you do not CHANGE direction, you may END UP where you are heading.
Lao Tzu via
I know many of you fear there is such a thing as a point of no return. You believe there is a point past which you must stick with the choices you have made. Though it is this mindset that can lead to resentment, pain, and a boatload of unhappiness. When you end up staying on a path that you know in your gut is no longer right for you, no one wins. Want to transform your fear into courage?
It is important to remember that no matter what is happening at any point in your life, you can choose to change it. You are the only one in the driver’s seat navigating the direction your life will go. You can change routes or make a U turn at any point. You can say no to that which you already said yes. You can choose differently. You can change your mind. You can ALWAYS course correct.
At ANY point in time, you have the right to CHANGE your mind.
Honoring your instincts is part of trusting yourself. By authentically honoring you, and your internal ‘knowing’, you’ll inspire others to do the same. To begin this start by taking small steps. Set aside time daily to dial into how your body is responding to choices you are making. Notice where you allowed yourself room for correcting, and where you felt constricted to move forward in spite of perhaps wanting to choose otherwise. Allowing yourself to course correct can take some getting used to, but it can save time, energy and regret down the road .
In the comments below I want to hear from you! Share with me one situation that you feel may need course correcting. I know that this can be a heavy topic depending on the situation. So honor yourself no matter where you’re at. Awareness of the need for change is half the battle.
See you in the comments, and as always, take care of you!
Love Love Love
It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. ~Earl of Chesterfield
First, the obvious: Everyone procrastinates.
I do it, my corporate and entrepreneur friends and the ones in between do it and I know for a fact that super successful gurus do it on occasion too. It’s just a human thing to put off what we could get done now for later. So relax. You’re not alone.
But the ones who get a lot done in short periods of time and seem untouchable by excuses that plague the rest of us simply have learned how best to manage their procrastination tendencies. You can too. I’ll tell you how.
Procrastination is not in your DNA make-up, it is not inherited from your parents or siblings and it most certainly does not “run” in your family – in fact, removing that phrase altogether from your vocabulary can improve your life drastically.
Procrastination is a bad habit that has formed over the years, and in order to break this habit, you must create enough reason and momentum to build the opposite habit, the habit of getting things done.
Let’s find out why we procrastinate first.
Getting things done is hard work, definitely harder than getting nothing done. Or getting easy things done. Right?
We are creatures of comfort so we resist the notion of hard work, because it translates to discomfort and maybe even pain.
We might have to move our bodies and put in effort and concentrate and focus and even break a sweat. So we resist.
These walls of resistance manifest in the simplest and costliest form in our lives: Procrastination.
But here’s the irony. Procrastinating is actually harder on you over time than overcoming resistance and doing the work.
Because procrastination can cause fatigue and stress and anxiety. It can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied with yourself. It makes you feel guilty and nags you like an annoying fly in your bedroom in the middle of the night.
On the other hand, completing a task elevates you to high levels of true happiness, gives you a sense of accomplishment, and makes you more productive for the next task.
Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James
So the question is, which feeling do you want more?
Getting in the flow of getting it done. You know this.
Tell me if this is not true for you. When you actually commit to doing something, you get it done fast and without any fuss. You are focused. Your decision drives you, and you know what needs to happen and you just do it.
Plus the satisfaction that comes from your results generates even more creativity and productivity.
Those are the times you are in the zone. You are on top of it. You are untouchable by delays and excuses. You are doing your best and moving towards your goals and desires.
You love this feeling of completion. You secretly prefer this feeling to stress of procrastinating and yet you manage to procrastinate on a whole lot of things. Why is that?
Because you have a habit of procrastinating. But the good news about habits is that you can break them by interrupting them and replacing them with better, more fruitful habits.
18 ways to learn how to stop procrastinating now.
1. Determine if it’s worth doing.
You might just be procrastinating because you don’t want to do something for a good reason. It may be a job you hate, a procedure you can’t stand, a part of your life that you simply want to escape. That is different from procrastinating on your dreams and real goals.
To this, I would say examine the task at hand before doing it because why do something you hate with so many opportunities to do what we love?
Tiptoe in to see what happens.
Pick the thing you are procrastinating right now and just tiptoe in to see what happens. Do a fraction of it. Then decide how you feel about the advice.
Often you overwhelm yourself with the idea of doing it all and then you sit on it because it’s too much. What if you just did 15 minutes or half an hour? What if you got on board for just a wee bit to get a taste and break the waiting cycle?
3. Don’t listen to your moods. They lie.
The strongest reason we procrastinate is because we just “don’t feel like doing it!” You know what happens if you listen to that lousy mood? Nothing happens!
So before you do whatever you need to do, change your mood with a meditation track or check out my popular 10 Minute Invigorator Program that is guaranteed to switch up your mood in 10 minutes or less.
4. Clean up the environment.
The environment you surround yourself with can either perpetuate your procrastination or nip it in the bud. Take a look at your desk, your house, your space where you need to do this work. Is it clean or cluttered?
Have courage and clean up the mess, throw away the rubbish you don’t need, and create a peaceful and productive space that is inducive to creativity and positivity.
5. Commit to it loud and clear.
In the first 20 minutes of my 6am Ashtanga yoga practice, a voice inside me is complaining and fussing “This is way too hard at this crazy hour. Let me go back to bed. Stop! I don’t feel like it!” And I know right then that if I give power to that mental shift, if I don’t commit loudly to the breath and the practice, if I stare at the clock, then I might as well go home.
Commit already. Commit loud. Commit and mean it. Commit to yourself.
6. Share your commitment with one person.
Choose one person, a partner, a spouse, a role model, a good friend, and tell them you committed to something specific, with dates and times. Ask if they please hold you accountable in a friendly but firm way?
The best partner is someone who may need the encouragement too. What is it that they are procrastinating on? Can you keep one another honest? Of course you can! Together, you are twice as strong!
7. Stop playing the victim card.
Why do we glorify being a victim of circumstance? Why do complainers get so many listening ears? There is nothing sexy or healthy about playing the victim, trust me.
Be your own hero instead. Be a warrior of peace. Be strong and tall and grateful for life. Stop the victim mindset and when it creeps in, just change it by telling yourself that you are in charge.
8. Kill the excuses. Abolish the distractions.
In order to do this, you must first know the definition of an excuse and a distraction. The dictionary definition says an excuse is “a reason put forward to conceal the real reason for an action.”
Excuses and distractions build the walls of resistance, but only if you give them focus and attention. Put your focus and attention where it belongs: on the task at hand.
9. Maximize the small chunks of time.
You have got to manage your time well if you want to be a success. One good news is that you don’t need large chunks of time to get things done.
If you can’t dedicate an hour or two a day to something that matters to you, you can start with 15 minutes or 30 minutes a day, but for the long term, think about a fundamental shift in your lifestyle design. For now, use the 10-minute chunks everywhere you can find them.
10. Let the power of mantra guide you.
Mantras are positive affirmations you repeat to yourself over and over. Guided meditation can help you achieve this. You can even synchronize your breathing. In-breath will do the first half of the mantra and out breath the second half.
Some of my favorites are “If they can, so can I” and “I’ll do it now so I can reap the reward later.” Choose your own mantra and repeat it.
11. Turn a deaf ear to your lizard brain.
The inner voice is negative, it is your lizard brain, as Seth would tell us, and if you let it loose, it will destroy your mind with negativity. Stop listening to it by not focusing on it.
Recognize when you may be entering your lizard brain, it’s usually when you doubt your ability to get something done. Even if you don’t believe in yourself at first, keep repeating your positive mantra to quiet the negativity.
12. Visualize the end goal. See it in your mind’s eye.
Visualization is a powerful exercise that helps you focus on the end goal. It is a proven technique that kills procrastination and motivates you to high levels of success.
It takes a lot of focus and attention to seeing the end goal and how it can manifest itself in your life. Start with creating a vision board if you want to give this a full try.
13. Create enough pain to move you to action.
Pain moves you to action. It was pain that led me out of my corporate life and into running my own businesses. If you have enough pain, you will start doing. And if you told me that you wanted out of the corporate world but you are sitting around not taking any action, it’s because you are not in enough pain to take action.
So are you in pain from not doing what needs to be done? Let’s take weight loss. Are you in enough anguish from your weight and health problems to take action yet? If not, then can you creatively create more pain (yes I am asking you to create more pain in your comfortable state)?
14. Harness the fear and win.
Say no to fear. Fear is procrastination’s best ally so it’s bound to show up. Just don’t accept it. Don’t invite it in. Engage it in conversation to calm your nerves, to be in charge, to have control. If you can do this once, you can do it again and soon it becomes a habit.
Who hasn’t had a conversation with oneself? Why not make it a good one? In the privacy of your thoughts, ask yourself why you are procrastinating, what it is, is it fear, is it laziness, is it lack of knowledge? What is at your soft core? Listen to the whispers coming back. Then let your own inner guide help you push past the fear.
15. Cultivate self-discipline.
It’s either the pain of getting self-disciplined now or tasting the bitter pill of regret later. When put in that perspective, it is a quick decision. To translate it to action, create your own small habits that will build up your productivity.
Everyone is different. Cultivate at the pace what works for you, maybe an hour early in the morning, maybe a Sunday night ritual, maybe timing yourself, maybe working in complete isolation. Find that magic habit that works for you. That’s your self-discipline.
16. Make that deadline count.
Setting deadlines is easy to do and hard to keep. Nothing could be easier than putting a date on the calendar so how do you make it count if you hate deadlines? Put some repercussions in place.
Tell yourself that if you are not done by this date, you have to give up on something you really like. For me, the ultimate punishment would be my daily good tea. What do you want to give up if you don’t meet that deadline?
17. Drop the perfectionism.
Perfectionism is not something to be proud of. It is a habit that holds you back from delivery results. Don’t mistake it with high quality. Of course you must delivery your highest work at the best quality, but perfection? Do you think that it even exists?
Have you ever achieved the state of perfectionism and been rewarded to the point that you now hold yourself to it every time? Learn to cure your perfectionism and move yourself to a steady state of taking action.
18. Reward yourself big every time.
We do not reward ourselves nearly enough. When you achieve a goal, any shape or size, especially one you have been procrastinating on for a long time, celebrate it! Buy yourself something wonderful. Give yourself a day off. Do something you rarely do for yourself. Look at your accomplishment with gratitude and joy.
It’s a big deal when you break through the barriers of procrastination. Congratulations are in order! How do you celebrate in style? I book a trip somewhere special and run off to practice more yoga.
We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment. ~ Jim Rohn
“No effort is ever wasted, although some pay dividends later than you think. Do not imagine that you “wasted your time” because something didn’t turn out right. There is no such thing as “waste” in the Universe. Everything — everything — yields benefit. It’s true. And your life will show you this. So don’t decry the “effort that failed.” All things lead to your highest good. You just may not know it yet.” — Neale Donald Walsch
THE GREEKS CALLED IT eudaemonia, a word most easily translated as
“well-being,” a concept that communicated wisdom of the most practical nature. But if you check out the “well-being” section in any major bookstore today, you’ll find titles on everything from astral projection to vision boarding:
“Raise your vibration! Discover your authentic self! Attract the millionaire mate of your dreams!”
But caring about your own well-being doesn’t require you to check your cognitive faculties at the door. As a matter of fact, over the past decade, a growing number of experts—from scientists, to business leaders, even the Dalai Lama—have set out to uncover the variables that make us happy. The University of Pennsylvania houses the renowned Positive Psychology Center, specifically aimed at the “scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive.” This emerging science of well-being has far-reaching implications for everything from education to healthcare and provides surprising answers to the age-old question: “What makes a good life?” Plato would have been so proud.
As a more intellectually rigorous concept of well-being weaves its way into the fabric of mainstream culture, a number of individuals have started using empirical evidence drawn from realms as varied as neuroscience and behavioral psychology to develop tactics—hacks, if you will—designed to sharpen your mind, boost your productivity, improve your fitness, and strengthen your relationships. We hope you’ll use the discoveries that follow to hack your own well-being and ultimately design a happier, more fulfilling life.
It’s common knowledge that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” right? But recent research in neuroscience suggests that old dogs (and humans) aren’t nearly as obstinate as we once thought they were. Thanks to a quality of the brain called neuroplasticity, it may be possible to literally redesign your own mind.
Neuroplasticity is a term scientists use to describe how the brain changes in response to experience, and, to that end, experts say that the brain is constantly optimizing itself, even as we age.
Neuropsychologists have long observed that when one area of the brain is compromised, other regions will reorganize themselves to compensate. After a person has a stroke, for example, the brain can rewire itself so that an area that typically controls movement takes over speech. But neuroplasticity isn’t just compensatory—some researchers believe that by utilizing the brain’s innate capacity for change, it’s possible to build and strengthen brain pathways that lead to more optimal states of mind.
Dr. Dennis Charney, Dean of the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, is one such researcher. As one of the world’s leading experts in neuroplasticity, Charney is pioneering a movement to develop simple, nonpharmacological exercises that retrain the brain circuits involved in everything from attention deficit disorder to depression.
Charney got his start studying prisoners of war from Vietnam who, despite having endured years of torture and trauma, exhibited a much lower incidence of post-traumatic stress disorder than expected. After conducting hours of interviews and scans of the soldiers’ brains, Charney found that the men appeared surprisingly resilient in the face of stress and also seemed to have developed unusual mental capacities in response to living in solitary confinement (and essentially doing nothing but “exercising” their brains for years on end). One individual, for instance, could multiply up to 12 numbers by 12 other numbers accurately in his head, and another had literally designed a house “nail-by-nail, cabinet-by-cabinet, room-by-room” in his mind.
“When you exercise your brain and youdon’t have any outside distractions, you can develop enormous capacities,” says Charney.
Thankfully, you don’t have to be locked in solitary to retrain your brain. Charney’s research team is now developing neuroplasticity based exercises that retrain the brain circuits involved in major mental illnesses. And ironically enough, it appears that one of the most effective ways to induce neuroplasticity is to stress participants out (over and over again) with a near-impossible task.
When you challenge the brain with novel and uncomfortable experiences, says Charney, it is forced to adapt.
So, the next time you find yourself fidgeting restlessly in meditation or tripping over your own feet learning a new sport, remember that the frustrating phase of learning a new skill is actually your brain rewiring itself to more effectively perform that task in the future.
Person A: I am so sorry I am late. I was stuck in traffic.
Person B: No kidding. Cause, ya know, I chartered a plane to get here!
I am so tempted to respond this way to every Person A who has been notoriously late to a meeting with me and arrives blurting out this ridiculous excuse. They may be friends, family, guests, co-worker, clients, or perfect strangers, it matters little who they are because tardy is a serious lack of respect.
Am I the only one left who feels this way about punctuality and tardiness? Please say it isn’t so.
Has our culture written off the importance of being punctual as insignificant and inconsequential?
Can we not have confidence enough to politely ask that people do us the courtesy to simply be on time?
Can we not have enough respect for the other person’s time and effort to show up at the hour that we said we would?
Are we really that incapable of handling ourselves and managing our time as adults with all gadgets of technology known to man?
The dreaded truth: what it really means to be late …
Let me dispel a few preconceived notions about being late. This quiet truth deserves a voice and it rarely gets heard.
Being late …
… does not make you an important or special person. Whoever you are doesn’t reserve you the right to be late.
… late once or twice in your life may be unavoidable but being late consistently makes you unreliable.
… says you clearly do not respect the other person’s time, only yours.
… affects your boss’s impression of you and damages your upward mobility at the company.
… consistently implies you are rude and lack all consideration and respect for the other person as well as for the commitment you made.
Your apologies for being late, however profuse and sincere, do not excuse the tardy. I am not saying not to apologize, I am saying not to be late!
Your reasons for being late insult the other person’s intelligence.
Let’s state the obvious here: Emergencies are exempt from the list above. Emergency, however, is defined as an unavoidable and uncontrollable situation which puts you in a position that makes it impossible to comply with your original plans because something more important has arisen at the last minute.
No, that is not an emergency!
The short list below shows examples of what is not an emergency, and rather results from lack of planning and a personal choice:
You spill coffee (or any beverage) on yourself on your way out the door.
Your children making you late. For whatever reason.
You have an argument with your spouse, your partner, your neighbor and then you are late.
Your dog or cat or other four-legged friend does something to make you late. Anything!
You answer an unexpected call which runs over and makes you late.
You ‘lose track of time’ and are thereby, you guessed it, late.
You forget altogether about the appointment and are embarrassingly late.
You are “stuck” in ‘unavoidable’ traffic or re-routed due to construction routes.
The last one is my pet peeve. Calculating the distance between two points takes simple thinking. The two tools you need are access to Google and a device that tells time.
If you have never traveled that route and are not familiar with traffic patterns, give yourself at least 15 extra minutes on top of what Google maps or your GPS dictates.
Traffic is not a new phenomena in our lives. You can manage extremely well with minimal planning. Traffic does not control you, excuse you, make you late or hold you back. You do. Be smart, be responsible, and plan around it!
But some days, life has other plans and hands you a real emergency such as:
Your punctual train or public transportation is delayed because of unforeseen circumstances.
You have an accident or a punctured tire while in transit.
You become ill and unable to go the meeting – in which case you will be a no-show not just late.
Someone you care for becomes ill and needs your help.
May none of these real emergencies ever detain you. May you be healthy and outside the emergency zone at all times. But if they do, please immediately contact the other person and let them know. Communication is consideration when emergencies arise.
11 reasons why it pays to be punctual in life
Embracing punctuality is more than just an admirable trait; it introduces you to a brand new way of living that you will love! You feel content and happy with yourself rather than frustrated and guilty.
Why is the importance of being punctual in life anyway if there are far too many Person A types around.
Because it is the right thing to do – but I shall give you 11 more reasons just to be safe.
The best motivator I can give you is that if you are a conscientious Person A, being late adds unnecessary stress to your life and breaking the habit removes it.
Below are 11 more reasons why punctuality matters in a professional world among smart people:
You show respect for the Person B in your life.
You respect yourself enough to keep your word.
You prove that you can be trustworthy.
You are appreciated for being on time.
You are regarded as a reliable person.
You are seen as a professional.
You are taken seriously and on your word.
You build a strong reputation for your character.
You open doors and attract more opportunities to yourself.
You eliminate stress from your life by removing the anxiety of being late.
You do the right thing and feel good about it.
What you should do when someone is late?
You have choices as in all things in life. The most popular choice is to never mention it, to be flexible with people’s schedules, and to convince yourself it’s no big deal and your time doesn’t matter all that much. After all, what’s a few minutes here and there?
Or (can you tell this is my recommendation?) you could bring it up gently once, make the point, request that they respect your time next time. If it happens again in the future, know that you have a choice about interacting with that person.
You cannot change any one except yourself but a kind reminder in a gentle tone will get the message across. Well, most of the time!
If you are on the receiving side of this, I would encourage you to see it from the other person’s point of view. Your time is just as valuable as theirs, regardless of your life circumstance.
In response to Person A being late, you could say:
John/Jill/honey/bro/sis/you, I just wanted to let you know that I also went through a lot of effort to be here on time and I still had to wait 10 (or more) minutes for you. I hope that this will not happen again in our future meetings.
Be polite, be sincere, be kind but be honest and have these tougher conversations for more rewarding relationships in the future.
If the late person continues to disrespect your time and ignores your hints, it may just be a strong sign to let go of the relationship or stop living up to their expectations.
We make our choices in a free world about lifestyle, commitments, priorities, and family.
If we are responsible individuals, we will only take on as much as we can handle and handle that which we take on very well.
If we are reliable individuals, we will meet our commitments to others or break the commitment professionally if we cannot make it.
If we are smart individuals, we will prioritize our activities.
And if we are considerate individuals, we will plan ahead, show up early and set an example to follow.
Have you seen The Birdcage? One of my favorite movies of all time, hilarious even on the 5th watch. In it, a dialogue takes place between Agador and Amand. When Agador, the house chef, announces that dinner is served as it is 8 o’clock, Amand, the party host, responds: “Yeah well, 8 o’clock – that means 8:15, 8:30, quarter to 9!” Agador scratches his head as he heads back to the kitchen.
Robin Williams may be hilarious in his role as Amand but he is wrong in this instance!
8 o’clock means 8 o’clock unless appended with a clause, such as “I don’t really mean 8 sharp.“, “8 is fine but we’ll be at least 10 minutes late.” or “We meet 8ish, give or take a few minutes.” Otherwise, 8 o’clock it is, baby. Be there or be square!
8 things you can do to heal your own tardiness
Listen, being late is not in your DNA. It’s not something you “inherit” from your family. It is not a characteristic trait. It is just a good habit and like all habits, it can be broken or preserved. It is a matter of personal choice and priority. Make the right one every time!
The real problem with being constantly late is that it makes you stressed and anxious. Why add this pressure to your life when you can live with inner peace? There is a better way to live than chasing the clock every day from too many commitments, too much activity and too many promises. So I put together a short guide for you if you find yourself constantly late, and if you swear it is “impossible for me to be on time!” – first of all, I disagree, it is very much possible. Here’s 8 things that can heal your tardiness:
Simplify your life by thinking about why you are doing something before committing.
Say no more often. “No, I’m afraid I can’t take that on right now, thanks for asking though!”
Give yourself more wiggle room in between appointments.
Be aware of your body rhythms. If you are not a morning person, don’t keep making morning appointments.
Stop thinking of yourself as a perpetually late person. You can change your habits if you so decide.
Aim to arrive 10 minutes early for every appointment for a week.
Apologize if you are late and ask if there is anything you can do to make it up to the other person.
Celebrate your success when you have been on time for 3 times in a row. Then repeat for 3 more times.
With these actionable tips, you may find it easier to develop your own punctuality even for the first time in your life. You are not ‘afflicted’ with tardiness. Your mind has the power to train and become the most punctual person you ever know. And when that happens, you may be sending this article to your friends and family, asking if they could please observe more punctuality in their appointments with you.
In fact, share this article with at least one friend that is ‘suffering from the tardiness syndrome’ and help make this a more punctual world! Would you?
If I have not stirred the pot with this one, I am lucky. Really, tell me, is it just me being so persistent on punctuality and respecting other people’s time, including the very minutes? Do you make an effort to show up on time? Do you feel indifferent about being on time or being late? Please share your thoughts!
Wait, is this your relationship with productivity?
Admit it, you envy productive people.
You keep telling yourself that you could be more productive if only you use your time better and smarter.
You read books and blogs and listen to podcasts on productivity hacks.
You know the drill by heart: Set goals, use a timer for uninterrupted focus, avoid distractions, focus on one task at a time, and just hustle after what you want.
But when it’s late morning already, and you have not accomplished any of your to-do items even though you got up early, you wonder when you will figure this productivity ‘thing’ out.
I hear you. Your relationship with productivity is a forceful one. You want to force productivity into your day, rather than, shall we say, integrate it?
Forcing habits, routines, and ideas into ourselves fails every single time.
Why is this so hard to see this?
Because the failure is not immediate, it happens gradually. That means, at first, when you force yourself to use a timer to complete a task, you will be successful at it. But it doesn’t “stick” and sooner or later, your older, stronger, and more established habits will swing you back to your natural rhythm.
And you are back to wondering why productivity is so elusive, so out of reach for you.
Well, it isn’t. You can achieve it but first, let’s improve our relationship with productivity.
Stop forcing productivity. Start integrating it instead.
Instead of forcing productivity into your life, choose to integrate it.
First, you need to understand the pieces of the puzzle that create a completely productive system for you. I repeat the important keywords: For You!
Then integrate these pieces as small building blocks into your lifestyle, your habits, and your natural rhythms.
In order to know what these building blocks are, you have to understand what is getting in the way of your productivity and what is enabling your productivity? Do you know that already?
Because sometimes, there are no outside forces, no deadlines and no pressures from others to get anything done. You need to drive yourself to results. You need to motivate yourself to be productive. And you need to do this every day, sometimes, multiple times a day, and it feels like a massive effort.
So how do you make productivity flow into your days? How do you make it your standard mode of operation, not something you need to strive for?
7 Productivity hacks you could be using right now
Yes, tools and apps and technology can make us more efficient, and sometimes enable lots of productivity too. We are not going into that here. We are taking the indirect approach to productivity.
The only thing you need to put these productivity hacks to work is your decision to take them seriously. If you have doubts that it will work, make a deal with yourself. Commit to doing them for only a week. If you are not massively productive at the end of that week, come back here and let me know. We’ll find you a new solution!
Now, the seven productivity hacks to start doing now:
1. Empty the mind, focus the mind.
Professional sports athletes and dancers pump themselves up before a performance. They empty the clutter of the mind, they rest the mind chatter, they put everything aside and focus only on the task at hand. First, you empty your mind, then you focus it. Do this by simply saying it out loud.
For instance, before writing your daily 1000 or 5000 words a day, you say: “I empty my mind of all chatter. I focus my mind on writing 5000 words now.”
2. Tackle the ugly monkey first, with a big reward.
You’ve heard it but are you doing it? Eat the frog first thing in the morning. Attack the ugliest task first. One thing I’d add to that: put the ugly task or the frog on the calendar and treat it like a meeting.
You can only do this if you’ve already done #1: Empty the mind, focus the mind. And one more thing, give yourself a reward. Seriously, reward yourself like you would a child or a dog. Your own sense of accomplishment is a great reward but why not throw something else in the mix?
I love and dread making my career videos. It takes massive efforts of preparation, focus, creativity, attention, energy, and presence. I am usually exhausted after doing a couple. But I also feel the greatest sense of completion when I am done. Then comes reward time. I give myself downtime, movie time, or yoga time.
3. Exercise the body 30 minutes a day. Minimum.
Look, I am not saying you can’t be productive without exercise. I am saying don’t be!
Your body’s health and happiness is directly related to your productivity and throughput. When you are sick, you are not doing so hot on the productivity scale.
To avoid using sick time, stick to any exercise routine that works for you but do 30 minutes minimum per day. Every Single Day! Exercise is one of those productivity hacks that doesn’t make sense at first because it feels like you are taking time out from work but in fact, you are getting time back: with more energy, more focus, better health and higher creativity. If you are not doing this, you are sabotaging your every chance at massive productivity and subsequently, massive success.
Exercise clears the mind. Exercise rejuvenates the body. Exercise helps with digestion and perspiration is a natural purifier and detoxifier. Exercise combats countless health problems. Exercise builds your confidence. Exercise heals and strengthens the body. Exercise controls your weight. Exercise improves your mood and kicks in your creativity. Exercise gives you time to connect with your body and your mind. The result: A more productive you!
4. Do nothing first, then do everything: Meditation.
If you are too busy to meditate 20 minutes a day, a zen master once said, then meditate for an hour.
Meditation, like exercise, gives you time back and the quality of the time that you get back from meditating as little as 10 minutes a day is much higher than if you were to skip this. See, you don’t need hours and hours of time to be massively productive. You need only to increase your level and quality of productivity during the time that you have. Meditation is an excellent tool to help you achieve this.
These guided meditation tracks have been my go-to source of meditation for several years now, and I can’t recommend them enough. Do it for the sake of productivity and you may just fall in love with meditation in the process.
5. Streamline the process: Stick to one single tool.
You don’t need more tools and apps and processes to be more productive. It’s not a linear process. You need to eliminate and in fact, I suggest sticking to a single method. So if you are following Getting Things Done by David Allen, then stick to just that system. If you are trying a new app, then use only that app. If you are following the Pomodoro Technique, then stick to that.
Use one single system or app or tool for a period of 2 weeks, measure results, then move on to another if you are not happy or continue using that system if it works.
6. Watch what you put in your mouth: Eat a high-energy inducing diet.
Your diet couldn’t be more instrumental to your productivity. If you live on caffeine, sodas, junk foods and fast foods, you are willingly handing over hours of power productivity over to your body so it can digest and deal with the “food”.
Think how productive you feel after a heavy lunch or after a day or two of eating poorly? Think how much effort it takes to just focus when you are tired and dizzy from a hangover? Note: I’ve never had one but I’ve observed a few who did! Not pretty!
Now compare this to how productive you feel after a healthy meal, a green juice or a raw salad? If you’ve never had a green juice, grab The Healthy Juicer’s Bible and add juicing to your life, if only for the increased energy.
Change your diet if you want to super charge your productivity. Simple as that.
7. Get the rest your body needs: More Sleep, not less!
Are you obsessed with getting less sleep so you can secretly brag about it? The person who sleeps 4 hours a night is not a hero. Sleep loss can lead to serious health issues, loss of focus, and according to WebMd, it dumbs you down! Ouch!
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve tried every hack to sleep less over the years, and now that I am getting enough sleep, my productivity has doubled! Doubled!!
I love my waking hours just like you, and yes, I do wish that we needed less sleep so we could participate longer hours in life, but that’s not up to us to change, and if you force yourself to sleep less, it catches up sooner or later.
Commit to getting enough sleep and be proud of it. And trust the rested happy body to give back with focus and productivity.
10 productivity blogs you should be reading.
Here’s 10 great productivity blogs with a link to one of their best articles. Read and grow your own productivity:
Getting Things Done
A Year of Productivity
Dumb Little Man
Change Your Thoughts
Ready to go from procrastination to productivity?
These hacks are the path to your long-term sustainable productivity. You can break the cycles of procrastination, rewire your brain, release old patterns and lay the groundwork for a new cycle: more productivity.
Now if you can’t remember all the details, just know the single secret to your long term productivity. Everything else is secondary and pales in comparison. This one is the one non-negotiable in your list. This is the one thing you cannot afford to sacrifice when things get too busy and when you are too tired and too preoccupied.
This is the only thing you will definitely regret if you overlook it long enough.
If thou wishes to be a productive human being, thou canst neglect thy health!
~ Prolific Living
Why do it alone? Stop being a hero. Work with an expert.
If you have done all of these productivity hacks, and you are still having trouble integrating productivity into your life, stop losing more time, and start working with a productivity expert or coach to build a system that works for you.
I had only 6 weeks to write, edit, layout and turn in a 40,000 word manuscript to my publishers for my first book. Even though my project may be unique, I followed a system that can be replicated and applied to other projects, and I gladly share this and other productivity tools that have served me well with my clients.
Interested in super charging your own productivity? Apply to my coaching program here.
Don’t leave yet! Share your single best productivity secret in the comments below.
Get Confident in 21 Easy Steps
The post 7 Productivity Hacks You Could Be Using Right Now appeared first on Prolific Living.